day 1

i've had it. up. to. here. with people in general.

this past week at work, i was told somewhat politely that i was doing my job too well and that i might try backing off just a bit as it was making things difficult for some of my coworkers. now i'm not sure...as i keep getting an error message and a weird buzzing sound in my head each time i try to process that particular statement...but i think i was just asked to take more coffee breaks and pay less attention to detail. wanna know the scary part about that? i work in the healthcare industry. surgery no less. and the funny part? (if there is such a thing.) the hospital i work at is pushing it's new slogan "we strive for excellence" down out throats like...well nevermind. the only analogies i can think of at the moment are all extremely crude or grotesque. suffice it to say they're pushing it on us rather hard. i guess "we strive for mediocrity" was already taken.

on a slightly more personal note, the ex boyfriend turned booty call went off his friggin nut tonight when i revoked his sleepover pass. the nerve of me. how could i not understand that this was his first official day back to work and he was just exhausted beyond belief. having to actually get up before noon and be vertical for almost a full eight hours, i'm sure that's gotta be tough on a fellow. nevermind the fact that my alarm jars me awake at the very least four days a week at 4:20am and i rarely see my bed again before 10:00pm or that the two to three days i do have off a week i'm being smacked (literally) awake no later than 7:30am by a very active and somewhat demanding two year old. how could i NOT be sympathetic? certainly i went way too far pointing out that my decision really had very little to do with tonight's cancellation and everything to do with the pattern of me being pushed aside consistently for one piss poor excuse or another. surely i couldn't have actually meant it when i said his pass was only valid as long as things were working for the both of us and that if he didn't use it he would most certainly loose it. how could having sex once a month NOT be working for me? i mean really. how could i expect so much from one man?